Mouth to be cocking around

Gosh, its almost 2 mths I have not been in here! Nothing much to update as I have tons of assignts on hand but yet I din seem 2 be in rush of it. If thr was update thr r words unable to to be put it on as a picture to c d whole story.
Have so much to be uttered as thr r tons of hard feeling inside. Sometime a person stubborness can relli hurts other alot but anyhow just let it be. I just treat it to be that person attitude which is hard to be change.
Keeping an eye open and an eye close makes the day a lot better to go tru instead of opening both ur eyes c it and unable to speak a word about it. We are all individual so we all have different thoughts and attitude. But we are being created to have a mouth to debate what we do not like to hear or we like to talk about others and the mouth is for us to protect our self. I dunno what I m toking about but sometimes when a person uses word to hurt others is lot lot painful than being stab or cut by a knife. We were unable to stop others mouth but we are still able to let our ear shut and pretend he/she is toking shit stuff.

The Her and He

Young -> Old -> Into the coffin!
It would be great I guess if me & him stay this way! But I prefer to die fast cos I am too afraid of aparting with someone I care and love. So, It has been 3 months 25 days we have separated. But of cos he did come back for 3 days visit and oso to attend one of our friend's wedding. I do miss him but not everyday lar. Our distance relationship has not much changes. Of course I wouldnt know what changes he had thr cos' I am unable to see! Anyhow, I wil be just doin my very own best and be what I am. If we are meant for each other then there are no obstacles we cant go tru right. So I told my dad not to worry about me and him as if he is mine, he will be mine. If he is not then no choice lor. There are so many fishes in the sea or trees in the forest. So,if d bad new comes then I have 2 face it and sad 4 a few day is enuff le.....

♥ me or hate me

She is consistently unreasonable to me again or most of the time if that person is around. I try my best to think rationally and wisely for her actions and words utter from her but time to time she disappointed me. I started questioning my own attitude and characteristics again. Am I being envious or green eyed? Was I? Am I? The question linger on my mind again since then. It gets on my nerve again but not that harsh like before. I am telling myself to be numb about it because it's nothing new to me.

Ya, its nothing new as this issue has been going on for a decade already. But why it still affects me? This is because she is someone that I care and I must care. Isn't that she has the same responsibility to treat me that way as well? Alright, maybe she do care but....oh God I can't convince myself for that statement coz' her actions are too obvious that I am not that much of her priority if to compare with that person.

I used to assume she has prejudice on me, and I got lots of funny and stupid reason behind all these actions which is maybe my chinese birth time and date does not suits her and maybe our horoscope are not compatible to be close at all. Funny, huh? However, those superstitious mind does not help me feel better at all. I even thought that I have problems on my attitude which she do not like. Maybe I am selfish, I am easily green-...etc.

But now I am partially assure that has prejudice on me. I have change to be better, to be more obedient, to be more patience in temper but it gets back to the circle again. She really treated us so much differently and the comparison of the difference can be say as that person goes heaven and me go HELL. Yeah! Isn't that shitty? I am not bluffing guys. I tot I can take it but still I cant take it. I tot there will be a change of fate but after all it's back to the same ol' ol' way. However, I keep on reminding myself I must be patience. It's all normal actually. So, I must be impulsively calm to keep the peace between us. I will let it be. So, I will be cool about it and mind my own bizness and I will not shoot out the bullet until I finish my mission.

So, at the moment I do have the heart to stay away from this place. It's not that I hate it but maybe I shud have a fresh air at some other place. Mayb in this way, I may not have a heavy heart to leave here. But if situation change I still prefer to stay at my home sweet home of course. I guess I have to stop blurting shit out now cos its 2 a.m in the morning and I have to get up early 2molo. Well well, I have my last 10days at that freaking workplace. hehe! Thats all for the rumbles and rantz. I will be cool bout it.... so say it with me yip pee yay kay!!
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Straight A's NOT! Haha!

Hardwork do give us a good show in the end! Thank God Thank God for giving me a new new chance after a yr! I have one more semester to strive on and till then I will be free from books! I need more mind support from anyone and most important is myself! ANd and Family! They are very indeed my mind support! No quarrels no big problem can give me a peace of mind to go tru this damn fucking final sem! I cant wait! I have waited for so long to tell that I am in my final sem! And

Now I am cant wait to tell that I have go tru my final fucking sem! Yet I cant be too confident about it cos the road of life has so much unexpected things that will happen! Sometimes is better not to expect too much. I din expect so much on my result but it was weird when last 9 I was going to bed I keep on seeing vision of my results and the result seen does not have any alphabet of N in it! I cant relli sleep last 9 cos tis is my final stageeee which my mum told me. If I am going to flunk any of the subject again my mum jz not gonna let me continue anymore. Well, she do freak me out for that.

I do not want to let go and this time achievement wont make me forget my damn stupidity in year 2006. I will let it keep on reminding me myself about it, remind myself how stupid I was, remind that how I have wasted times and money at that time. It will always be a reminder for me to be more conscious and steady always. I have say sorry so much in my heart and I hope the one I had hurt will forgive me if one of the most fear day for me comes.

I have promise my dad I will do good and I will try my fucking damn best. I always feel so shame that ppl ask when will I graduate. And because I am unable 2 graduate on time I had this self-consciously of measuring my intelligent. This 1 1/2 yr I have always question myself whether I have the ability to study a fucking simple course. And I always blame myself for being so stupid. But yet I guess hardworks actually brings an achievement at all.

I m not a super duper high achievement student but I never worry about my studies until i started uni actually. I did not give up and I do put effort on it but Bro say I could have put more on it. Well, sometimes life jz has up and downs to be face and it all depends how strong we are and how ur frens n family has mentally support u. Maybe harsh words do help sometimes. hehehe...(mentioning a lady of my life) And a girlfren of mine do give me hard rocking word to listen and this actually beat out my pride. Though i do not share but I bear it on my mind that I wan to show myself that I am not stupid after all and I still own maybe a lil bit of the ability to finish uni. Heheh! However, Thanks myself for the hardwork, thanks God, family and friends for being side of me in somehow :)) hehe! mUahs!