Friends byway or friends of the heart...

(friendss.....)

It's so simple to take good friends for granted and some say or most says in a sense - we should be doin it -.

Friends byway...

(Part of our life journey with a short-term length but very appreciated)

They are the one who always make you laugh whther u r hangin out with them out at the mall or attending a class or for even a drink or in the phone and in which this kind of fren jz by giving us a mere look ccould crack us up. Other than tat, u and tat fren byway of urs had a lot in common than those humors which u and him/her would have uncountable conversations at all hours of the day and night about anythg from ur favourite rock music to the signification of life and also to talked on self-fears,futures n relationships. All this means no lightweight of relationship here which this kind of frens helped each other to survive but when the journey's ended the friendship faded as well. Just like when you r in ur college time so by the time both have graduated then each walk off to their own road and time goes by the contacting of each other turns to none...

This is not a bad thing or r we having a failed friendship but just some frienships are meant to be momentary. Like cowboys who ride hard 2gether for miles sharing both dusty perils and countless night in the woods with campfire coffee and burnt birds to share. Well, we beings live a long path which leads us to have friendships that come to their natural end which is not because of unable to pair with each other but simply because of the path we has run out. Since its an end of trail together then its time to move on to other thgs or other companion...

Though its the end of this kind of friendship but we have to understand these r not a wreck ship we have build but jz a friendship of the road which we all equally share all the necessary,and treasuring each other. They r the one who get us throught a particular strectch of road which we should feel grateful and appreciate the moment of it and make it as a joyful memories.

Friends of the soul

(A true friendship has an old strength like a steel chain)

These friends-they could tell you or anyone more about myself than your siblings. They are the one who know your mood swings and your family history/background and they are the one who have watched you mount and seen you fall as well which this type of friends is so unlike with friends byway cos these guys have stayed with you beyond the road end. No matter how long the path need to be taken and miles that we have to intervene still the friendships endure.

These type of friends will never be lost in contact even we r being faraways and this r the friends whr we rendezvous at weddings and passing tru each other's town if we on a business trips, plans reunions on special days and also shared vacations trips together. They who does not weight thoughts or measure our words but to share all the ups and downs with you just like a pair of hand.

They are the one who cries and laugh with you and spend their times with you when u r in need of a shoulder to lie own and listened to ur grumbles and rantz. They are the one who pins out ur good and bad habits and till the level of accepting it but never fear of tellin you the truth cos he/she will be by ur side to go through the facts that u do not wan to be face and accept. They are the one who knows ur success and happiness in d first place and also they r d one who share their favourtie foods and drinks with you eventhough you have a cough or flu....An achieved real friendship does not matter ur ship is wrecked or make of gold cos wat they appreciate is the bonding relationship between u n him/her...

However, this 2 types of friend are both we need and none is more important the other and wht we shud matter is how to outlast a relationship.....

My stupidity

A mistake made because of stupidity is hard to be flush away from ur mind. The backbreaking of it is not the whole process of d mistake tat have made but is the fact of it happen! I m fill with guilty with that done mistake and I feel so blind when to think back bout it. Its a clear picture of a mistake in d first place yet I was so blindly to walk on it and found myself drench on it. A done of stupidity turns me into a fucking bitch bringin the fear of karma when I in my sleep.
What done is done...and its over. Ppl made mistakes and ppl will turn over a new leaf but a stupid mistakes made before bring myself questioning my own levelheadness, my sanity, my rationalism, my conscientiousness,at tat moment I chose to step into that road with lots of wacky,insane,ridiculous and unrealistic drive of road. Every moment I thought back of it jz makes me feel queasy and filthy in mind and soul. Its not tat ezy to forget a deed which is done with stupidity but however thr is no turning point I can make but live from it though it pains me to face it. I was not hurt because of the vulgarish act but the act of choosing a path tat was so clearly stated its a hell road still I choose to fall in that hideous,filthy,impure,immoral road. And it really turns on my affliction was my foolishness of affecting or almost letting go of my studies which is a road with reality and saneness.
It hurts to fall hard from a stairs and it hurts that I have to always remind myself about that done mistakes to keep my mind to be vigilant of my deed so that I would not have another fall because of my sillyness and stupidity. Ya, sometimes when someone or friends mentioned or talked about that issue I feel a flow of sluggish act I was once doin it.I should be more prudent and sensible yet I was so ignorant and irresponsible at that moment. I hate myself (I never have d guts to admit this) yesh,I hate myself for my deeds. I hate it and I wanted so much to turn back the time. But no, I have to accept it and I have to clinch it no matter what. There is no point of clenching on a mistake and make my life miserable. I can stand up and I do show that I have stand up quite steadily at least though sometimes I feel puny emotionally when I am all by myself.
Oh well,its SO DAMN OVER AND MOVE ON....:))

A worry of how to go through this mistakes,failure and comparations of ur deed by others...and this is why I blog about feelings,comparations,worries,mistakes and failure. a thought of all those i was goin tru step by step and I m overcoming it...

P.S: DUde u can go tru it! wakakakaka! I dun like to grumbles on my sadness,pain or watever emo issues in front of u guys cos its all my filthy faults seek by me MYSELF so I got none to blame but myself and I feel self-disgusted about it..

Icy Rain by Andy Lau (Translated by ME) ;)

I am in wait for a girl,
Or I am in wait to sinks into a sea of bitterness,
This bit of love was secretly irrigated,
None care about the flowers bloom or withered,
A love that can't be clinched,
moving unsteadily back and forth,
I can only jolt my affliction deep into my heart

I am waiting for your return,
But you gave me a reply "serve you right"?,
Ownself silently in a daze,
Yet two people in an awkward position,
How can a good love can slowly turns so bad?

The cold icy rain shivers haphazardly on my face,
Mixes my warm tears with the winter rain,
The color of my vision suddenly hidden,
Your obscurity loiters insensibly besides me

You are just like an executioner who have betray me,
As if my heart has been ripped by a dagger,
A love on a steep cliff,
who would be willingly to accept the most hurtful unexpected intentions

A love on a steep cliff,
who is bold enough to grasp it,
And with willingness to accept the most hurtful unexpected intentions,
Most beloved girl....

ANDY LAU! BOYFRIEND (SONG NAME AH!)

HANDSOME NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~*SLURP* OOpPS!

Failure....

What do you ppl fear most? I jz realise my most fear is FAILURE! FAILURE IN WAT? thr lots of failure, like failing in ur exam, failing in a relationship, failing in a business, failing in a friendship, failing to be a good son/daughter in ur family, failing in ur working performance....so many more! n i guess every1 is fear of failure! for me FAILURE is d most dirtiest word! shiet! In 23 yrs of life, i knw i have more failure to face but all tis while I have failure in my exam, n failure to be agood friend n oso my most failure is bonding relationship with my mother! I ever think of giving up bonding it back since I have time by time failing on it! But this time I guess I have gain back a bond n tat is to confront n confess my wrongs n oso being more patience between each other. As for exams, i guess thr is no 1 to blame but ownself buut some teens do think of dying if they have too much failure in studies or relationships. But I guess confronting it n facing then try ur best to mend it will overcome more pressured feelings in ur mind.
When some1 is in a failure they try their best to escaped from it n some r pressured by it n brings us down to nervous and anxiety manner. Every1 have diff fear of a failure but being blaming urslf for not tat good or wad lah its not a good way to solve it jz like worries. So, y not face it and admit its a wrong already n it has happens already. Jz like some broken relationship, if it is broken dy n u have try ur best to heal or bond back but thr r none result shown of a turning point then its time to forget everythg n move on. Living with mistakes is not good but living away from mistakes n making ur mistakes or failure into an achievement in other part is excellent right? who never falls down? who never got hurt? every1 does..

If u urself cant cope up wit wat u have fall, try talking to some1 bout it,try imagining to overcome it with the worst situation so at least if u dun fall hard its not tat pain but if u do fall hard then at least u r ready for it,then its time to give urself a chance to stand-up again - but some ppl may think to start pushing d blame on others can give themselfs a relieved to reborn themself, its wrong for doin this cos we will get back to d circle half way tru...so y not jz take the whole failure blame n swallow it inside u n digest it out, having somthg to fall back on is oso another way to face n accept ur failure in a healthy style like some ppl turn to their religion for help or as a back-up or some of us will develop a new strong personal relationships to back themself up and realizing tat a person cant do everythg by himself/herself and lastly is face the whole situation and live through it but prove ourselves that we can survive the whole failure n to start all over again!

Crimes getting out of control? Or Human Beings blood turning cold~

Have you ever thought of a killing crime case happen so near to you? Or have u ever thought of a murdering case happening in ur own land? For me, watching movie or reading others nation case got lah, but happening so near to me and my house never cross my mind at all. And if I happen to witness one 1 day i think I will have a total freak-out anxiety or heart attacks. Duh ya, but yet it happen!

Another scary crime stories came across our land here. Last Thursday a 33 yr old girl was killed at a night entertainment outlet n heard tat it was at 1 of d central park karaoke. She was stabbed 3 times on her chest n her throat was slit...n d scary thg is tat d news spreaded tat it have to do with relationship problem. Another fucking case was a body found in a FRIDGE n was CHOPPED into 11 PIECES and the guy parts were wrapped in 5 DUSTBIN BAGS! GOSH! And the suspect is his wife....n the suspect is then KUCHING PPL! orang kch ehhhh~ a lady in her 30`s suspected murdering her husband in a condo and chopped her husband into 11 pieces! Gosh! Humans r getting inhumanity dy...whr is our warm-blooded value? whr d hell is it? a month back was a child case and in this month thr r so many cases which involve about human takin another human lifes. Wow, it seems so easy huh~ jz a bit of imagination about killing ppl with no difference of ppl slaughtering animals! darn it~All this crime stuff is getting fucking serious as day by days go by....n nowadays ppl cant even have a good sleep about those fucking robbers stuff n now come about news like woman murdered her own husband n chopped him into pieces then kept is remains in the FRIDGE for about 2 yrs? n thr r woman got murdered in public places which every1 in kch owes hang out at for supper,or for a beer in d kopitiam..gosh~! so living in tis world is full of danger already n becos of all this news our parents stop us from getting home late n even stop us from goin to those nightlife entertainment~but to think bout it -today never knw wat happens by tomorro...o tis mins we dunno wat will happen d next mins! Haihhh....being low profile in d society is a good way to avoid this kind of killing conflict...n also if u do find ur partner or any fren got any violence character then better to stay 30 meter away from him/her n try not to offend this type of person cos u wouldnt knw anytime they jz get a knife stab u to death n chopped u into pieces! Oh ya, sometimes we young ppl or even older ppl shud learn to talk with more proper manner cos thr r too many bad eggs who can bei song to u,me US anytime n who knws we will get beaten (very lucky lor) or got murder anytime,anywhr,anyhow....N also our eyes shud learn not to "siong" ppl too much~mana mana tahu u siong tiok some siaw ppl then bei song again! sheesh! y ppl so eng nowdays huh! EEwwWWww!

Worries:)?!

Worries? chinese saying -->忧虑! we human beings r fills with worries every sec, mins, hours and day!!! We worry about our exams results, our jobs, our financial stabiility, our love ones n lots more...n its from day to nite n day to nite again. Thr is never a ending road for worries as long our heart is still beating in this world. When d worries road comes to an end tat means its time for our heart to stop beating n we will be living under d ground we have all step n walk with or we will be fading in a sea or air jz like dust (if we r burnt):P


Worries is also another feelings or mood or emotions. Mood (心情) of worries make ppl feel sad n sick. Seriously, it can lead us to have gastrics, anxiety attacks, depression n many more. D worse thg is it can bring us down with our own pathetic world n tryin not to face the real world. So, y keep ourself worrry since it cant help us to solve problem at all but bring more negative or side effect to our life. I know, worry is sth we all normally will have n ponder with. I cant deny i do not have any. I m a worried-person all d time but i kept it all inside me,very d inner me which is mostly my nite time. Ya, keepin worries inside is not good too but sometimes blurting too much worries out oso bring us no where to go but stuck in a sad position n makin ur loved ones to be stuck wit ur worries as well.
Worries thg stuff ah will haunt human being till d end of each individual life. So, since we r always haunt by it so jz keep it simple n ezy n try not to ponder about it too much which will make u a dull person or a sick ass sitting anywhr with tat shit face? oops again:P If 1 day i m wit tat shit face ah, u ppl jz hit me on d face n say go read ur own fucking writing. hahaha~ nah, i owes bring my worries into my sleep. So, try makin urself bz is also another solution.... worries will never fade so y not face the truth n fact bout it n dun try to blame others for d bad facts :)

Bored to half dead dy...

I am so boring~ damn it! Life without him is killing me dy.....everyday n nite no 1 to talk with. I need some1 to make a nuisance with! damn it! cant call him coz he is working, cant sms cos he is working....damn~ i m getting imbalance soon. wat else i got grounded! damn it damn it!
Boring boring boring boring!
Class is damn boring n scary....jz 1st week we r all overload with assignments dy n i dun even know which to start cos I haven find my group yet. darn darn.....errrrrrrghhhhhh! NORMAN N JASS! I NEED YAM CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TIMEEEEEEEE~

Comparing...

Y thr is comparation in tis world? everyday,every mins, every sec n every 1 is trying to compare themself with someone, compare thgs with other similar thgs, being compare by old ones amongnst ur siblings, compare tat n tis lah. Wat comparations most ppl made?? Comparation oso got stage of life eh huh!?
When we were in primary school, our parents compare our results wit d neighbours kid, our uncles n aunts kid, schoolmate at school. Wat for? we r kid n i guess its not us who wanna win o when lose we feel ashamed but our parents, our old ones. duh~ another stupidity those adults like to play with.
When we are in secondary school lor, besides the same shit we r being compare which is our academic compare by our parents but thr is slightly diff at tis stage which is we ourself tends to learn n will compare about it. But besides we OURSELF tryin to compare our academic performance with those whom our parents have been teaching us to compare with, we even try to compare looks or a more proper saying PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. Other than tat thr r some of us who will compare about their family financial background(ehem,daddy $$ u compare outside with ur fren-so silly hor?) oOps! Okay, then to a certain age like around 15 to 17 we tend to compare bout our boyfren/girlfren stuff like anythg. same shit wit looks, money, intelligence n blah blah as long thr is smethg to compare they will do it. hehe...becoming more like our old ones? stupidity? nah, or mayb comparation can bring humans to determine more n ask for more perfectism stuff in their life? hmm..duno lah~
Aft all 5 yrs comparing boys,girls,looks,rich blah blah blah it goes on again eventhough we r reaching our 20's. Ppl still do complaints n compare stuff we used to do in high school but now we r backing a bit n tat is comparing who got to go UNI or COLLEGE? n who gonna graduate faster? n is tat comparing intelligence? hehe...dunno~ other than tat we oso compare wat n how much our boyfren have given us like gifts?money? blah blah...ya..even wanna say how much is those gift? let say u got a teddy bear then thr is some fren will jz laff at u..."eee,y ur bf so cheap eh?" lame isnt it? hahaha...jz an opinion here k. Other than tat, thr r comparation bout how well ur life is than the others? Thr r ppl who oso compares their present boyfren/girlfren with their ex-bf or ex-gf which is not good wat cos they r all different ppl lah. Come on lah they come out from different h*les wat~(dodido...:X). Sometimes even good or close frens ppl still tends to compare with them. is tat a close fren? wonderringg....
Then to the stage of working, we still compare again....like k how good is ur work? your pay? mine higher? hahahaa...eh"we same uni worr,but u get a lesser pay n a bad working environment?" u c thr r so much to go on....
Till we r all married, we compares our hubby lah, wife lah, kids lah, hahhaa....tis part we have recycle back to our parents path...isnt it a karma? i mean when v r kids we dun like our parents to compare us with cousin,brothers n sista or kids from school.. n when we r in d stage of our parents we compare our kids with others ppl kid liaw. haihhh~recycle...
Sometimes I do think y have to compare? since we r all individuals with diff abilities, diff bacckground n oso diff level of intelligence. How much u compare thr isnt a good answer always but jz negative points n thoughts will phsycho ur mind n which make u feel sick n sad. sometimes it can till to d extend of hurting ur friendship n relationship. I never try to compare with any1 in my 22yrs of life but thr is only 2 thg i owes try to complains n compare which is 1stly my brother-->he is owes smarter than me n my mum likes 2 compare me with him.
2ndly my mother-->ya i do feel y i cant be very close with my mum like others girls do.
Thats it....
So, sometimes i wonder tryin to look good jz 4 others to c? i think tryin to look pleasant is enought. Comparing financial stability or being successful in d society of cos we have to compare so that we got aims or goal lah. But come on lah, who don wan to be rich. Jz work it out urself instead of wastin time tryin to say who is richer lah, who is more ability lah...haiya..:P As for intelligence i guess this is all by nature or u r born like tat then bo pien liaw...so dun force urself lah if u dunno how to do it....jz like some kids they got force to study very hard to get flying colours n in d end they spend most of their time at mental hospital or "rumah sakit jiwa". Be usual is enough as long u have done ur real best then its ok rite? dun care how or wat ppl tryin to say bout it n self try not to compare wit others tat much then u will have a happier life i guess...jz be urself:)

TIME ticking...fast?

I wonder if it is when all of us grew older, time seems to be not enough all the time. Its like the clock is clicking or ticking so fast tat a day can jz pass in a glimpse. To think back, when we r still kids, how we hope d clock will tick faster so tat we can jz end our school session n get back home to play but now though studyin in uni d time-table is more flexible n relaxing but for me I feel like I always dun have enuff time for tis n tat. Jz like today, my class was in d morning 8.30am-10.30am n by d time i finish my class,went to lunch wit mum n dad n drive myself back home its already 1 sth in d afternoon. Half a day has jz pass like tat with no thg achieved or gained. Since reached home I arranged my damn time-table which is a mess with lots of clashes here n thr then d time is jz gone for an hour dy.
Ya,its 2 pm already n few more hours our sun gonna set n night gonna fall out. N when we get to sleep n wake up. Tomolo is another day again. Feel so wasted o feel like "cho boh lan" duh! Tats d thg, sometimes i still feel yesterday we jz celebrated our new yr but now its already d month of AUGUST! And 4 more mths to go, we r gonna celebrate another new yr...the faster we feel d time tick, the older we feel n d more circumtances or problems or stuff awaiting in front of us to face n to solve. who knws in a glance of a period of time in which we dun feel its goin slow as we r gonna b buzy allocating a better life,jobs, feeding kids n bla bla blah...then suddenly we take a break 2 c how much n wat we have gone tru n by dat time we jz realised we have live half of d century dy? hahaha....jz like our parents they grow up,work,married,raise kid,work n work n work n now they r all fill with grey hairs at their head n we never know when they will leave us from tis world to do their step by ourself.
To think about it, a sick feeling jz fill up our body. Feel so sick 2 face those unbearable pains, feel so sick tat we r gonna face d world by all ourself....so y not have a think about time can be gone so fast n if v r still stuck in some old thgs which will not be ours anymore, then wats living a life for? move forward is d best n face the reality:D
Time is owes precious so y not make our life precious too by living it to d fullest. U never know wat will happen tomoro so y stuck urself up in somethg that has no turning point? Unless those who feel tat thr is stil turning point or they have more time to wait n wait for it.....

Heartbroken or Heartbreak

Heartbroken or heartbreak is jz a simple word we used to hear from or said to someone and it is also a very normal situation to most of d people in d world especially in todays world or todays youngster or even at most adults. But y thr r still ppl unable cure from a heartbreak?
Heartbroken is a very weird affliction in which can give us human an intense pain in d heart n emotions which we all physically cant c the d injury on our body. It also can make us go over n over of d past n slowly n dashly make ourselves compelled with so many many diff ideas n even fantasies to overcome our pain. Is this a right way? Nah! If we do keep on like tat it will jz make our own feeling worse. Of cos when an important love relationship ends thr will be lots of different responses triggering in our mind cos of d feeling of loss n pain. As we know, wat brings us to have a love relationship? -->FEELINGS rite? ok wat ended us wit heartbroken?-->FEELINGS also? Ya i think most of all yes...y not feeling? we love some1 becos we jz hav d sensation of adoring tat person. we break up becos of losing d feeling towards tat person u used to love? but of cos nowadays its not only feelings but lots lots of different factors dy which is those realistic o materialistic factors lah. Okay, back a bit bout feelings. It is something tat is so vague in idea n a flow of sensation sending down to our heart n mind in a very unpredictable timing or way. It is sth so hard to maintain,fulfill,accept n oso a very uncertain, hidden,complicated sense build inside us.
So, all this heartbroken,feelings is all about emotions. It make us pain, distress, angry, sad, devastated, imbalance of life, lost track, despair,regretful,jealous...it goes on n on wit those negative terms n slowly it will jz bring us into depression n if we dun think of a way to heal ourself then we cant really move on wit our lifes anymore. So,ppl wit all this bereavement,parting of relationship n suffering pls cure urself n stand up again. Set urself a period of time to grief n aft d time pass then stand up again n look for a new start k. All this parting n suffering r unavoidable parts of our life.
To heal urself try to not to be DENIAL ->tryin to not accept what have happen and 1 is already accept BUT FEEL ANGRY ABOUT IT. However, when we r in heartbroken situation feeling grief is a natural process to go tru it but dun take so long cos thr others outside ur world waitin n wanting u...so dun get stuck n keep on repeating d same hurtful feelings over n over again. Also try changing some normal habits u were having n lead urself to a new habit n lifestyle to put d distressful part at d back of ur ass n make a fart of it k...
Losing a love or a heart wont destroy ur life cos thr r still SUN n MOON, DAY n NIGHT, jz like thr some others which can bring colors n beautiful moments to ur life. Road is still a long way to go so y not take those past as a sweet memories as u knw thr r still happy moments while we r with our previous love or relationship.
So, cheerz up no matter wat happen. Always remember to set a time 4 urself to mourn bout d pain n when its time over get back to ur life n stand up high again....
Even when 1 day our parents or our beloved one part from us from tis world we still have go onnnn cos v r still living n breathing...so wat else jz some broken relationship? Time to mourn n time to smile...its a recycle:)
So cheers up when u r done with ur mourning:D

I m still in shock...

Never thought of living my life for 22 yrs who never have a problem of going out late or go out often but becos of 1 huge mistake me myself had make n choose to confess it all to her n i m grounded by both parent. Mum have change her strategy, she is not like b4 anymore in which is by scolding, grumbling n making u wanna burst to quarrel with her instead of she use a gentle way of telling u n advising u n oso a gentle way of telling - "u must stay home more dy k becos of ur mistake which have let us so disappointed n u r a grown up dy so u better c ur limit n handle ur own schedule k" - gosh isnt tat scary? if u r my mum's dotter u will feel scary all of a sudden she chat wit u nicely n slowly. Sigh...
So u c, Wanna go out oso need to c d timing, c whose bridge i can borrow to cross. Its my 1st day of being warned n grounded n i m so not used to it dy..Wat a joke...22yrs old got grounded! dang! hahaha...oh well, life! its always unpredictable n my road of life all tis while got lots of surprising thgs happen beside me. Ya, Jass u r right I got full of excitement stuff happening in my life but not colorful one n its jz all grey k.
N all this is so mind suicidal for me. A sudden change of mum being so understanding, a sudden change of all d bad thgs turn out to be solved easily with a wink of an eye, a sudden feel of luck is on my side now....ya so many sudden...so many unacceptable sudden n i m bit of having a problem to digest it all in jz a glimpse.
Though thr is a sigh of relief, but sometime when thgs turn so upside down of wat u xpected its jz hard to accept wats it. But in d fact it have happen so all those emotion days, depressing days, stress-out days has all of a sudden jz turn into nothing jz like a puff of smoke from ur mouth n fade-out in a secs. Duh~
Yr 2006-2007 dilemma is jz like tat n its jz poof or done by like tat. It stil makes me wonder how can it be so easy n simple but I guess its time to let go dy as d outcome has shown so I wanna say bye bye to those stupid thgs I have done n let it 4ever disappear from my mind n heart. YEA! kekeke!
NOw I can SHOUT OUT LOUD "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"! HAHAHA...yeehaaa....
P.s: Norman dun depress liaw lahh..thr is owes a way out lah k....c to d brighter side yaa...:D

A miracle? A change of Fate? O jz Change of ME n MUM~:D

Hmm...I suppose to watch my tvb drama series but ending up my mum came in my room n chit chat till now. So surprisingly....well, it has been so long I dun have a good chat wit her dy o shud i say I never have a real long talk about lots of thgs with her with a peace ending (hehe...ya v din end up quarreling or end up unacceptable thoughts).Yesh yesh a chat till now (1sth in d morning) . Guess a yr of 2007 was a good start at all. A change of me being more patience towards her attitude of me in her heart the bad n likes to fight back wit her all d times dotter. N d change of me being silence this whole yr no matter how temperate i was inside me. Guess its worth of it to change.
Ya, can see thr is changes of communication style between me n her. Ya, i do take d advice from Edmund n James. Firstly, the thought of 2 slow 4 a change but I guess its all not too slow yet. hehe! Can feel d way of most daughter in d world to have a lil chit chat session wit mum is jz so nice n comfy. Feel so warmth inside...mayb she have change too...guess James did tell her sth. Mayb both of our thgs need a third party to cure us..
Ya, its all of a sudden lots of changes n living 7 mths ahead of yr 2007 was really great all tiz while....
phEw! Being stubborn doesnt help or solute thgs out n being patience n being more tender is 1 solution to handle both our relationnshipp...Hopefully, those grey days n shit stuff happens b4 is all wipe off from tis yr on...n thr r owes rainbows n colors of life. It jz need time to wait for ur turn gua..so I have waited one dy...n hopefully thr r more 2 come n of cos I wont say i wont have another grey days but being more mature to handle it liaw bah....
hMmm, guess i can have a good nite sleep n tomolo 2 start a new semester again...with books,words n lecturersss...*eew* urghhh! hehehehe.....
Unable to stop d feeling of posting it out of wat happen jz now...d feeling of it err...i dunno how to described lah but frens who know me guez they know how great n satisfaction i m feelin noww.....:)) smile till wit double chin liaw lor...kekekeke...nitez!

Backiee....

Wow, its been a week I din post anythg at all. Was kinda bz wit my firking enrollment day n firking family politics (keke), n my very very own firking personal relationships. Really need some time of reality way n thinking to face tat 1 dilemma... n ya it took me 1 week 2 think clearly to take tat action to settle d most dilemma thg have happen to me in my 23 yrs of life. darn! Yay,done done done or settle settle settle.....*pheW*
Shud i jz shout out loud "YEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" or "yeeePeeeee"? hehehe....i m not shouting out loud yet but inside of me a relief of sigh flowing all over my nerve! I wanna thanks GOD for givin me another chance...:) okay okay stop all these drama drama act for a while...
Firstly to say sth which is SWINBURNE enrollment day SUX MY ASS OUT FOR FIRKING 3 HRS lining some queue which isnt a queue at all n yay u HAVE 2 LEARN TO CUT QUEUES if thr is any queues u gonna make in SWINBURNE damn it! anyway got to enroll at last wad...n over 4 about 4 days liaw lah so my gas a bit cool down liaw (inglishy gud le?) was a bit firked up wit words n mind thinkin tis few days so dun even wanna post anythg in case it become more mess up than those post. Bad english n grammar is like tat one lar! duh~
Secondly, er...i prefer to keep it confidential accept 3 of my frens knew bout it n i knw tat is my most fucking shitty thgs i have done n my most sickening dilemma which have been haunting me for more than half a yr...so kinda settle in a way...:P
Thirdly is, I m all alone again cos my soulmate or my dear have jz left me for his outstation duty n he is leaving me for 2-3mths. Darn! Tis is d 3rd day for not havin him beside me n at 1st i thought i m so not ok wit it coz I was having too much personal n family prob in which I need some1 2 stand beside me, to console n support me. But it jz happen, wanna go off one still have to go off n one wanna stay to face all d shits still have to confront it n face independently. sigh~it was quite over dy though. So I guess I still can stand up myself but I still miss him a lot n quite hurt tat he have to work so late everyday n I dunno y I m being so lovey dovey towards him lately n yah i miss his smells. damn! anyway, done with 3rdly...:)
Lastly, yea class startin tomorrow...n time table kinda sick cos quite pack as I have 3-4 classes in a day but not everyday of cos n tis I can accept but to attend class till 5.30pm n 1 have to be till 7.30pm really makes me sick. But at least I can skip some of my dinner cooking session. *giggles*
Ya I m done wit most of my 1 week updates which is jz boring as usual...hmm! wanna write sth more but mind is jz not workin at all...:S

mayb i wil think of sth to post soonnn....hopefully soon cos i jz realised I have finish downloading d 5 episodes of my tvb drama series -"the drive of life". keke! Okayz...better start watchin n start downloading another 5 episodes....

Oh no!!!!!! I have suddenly thought of 1 shiat not settle yettttttt!damnn...n tat is takin studio photoooooo...urghhh~ ok ok...Jass n Phia tryin to give me memory of being a "sau nu"....errrrghhh..goosebumps growing~ dangggg! I will pay soonn...hopefully...n la la seng finish it fasttt...:P ekekeke! *snarlz*:Z oh ya, if tis photo taking session end up a bad n a clowning xperience 4 me then i m sure i will have some phobia in my future wedding photo session:P

Okay, done wit my crapz....tata..