Ya, here goes the result or the conclusion I have been waiting and fearing of. Yes, he had really decided to quit his job for sure and go back to his hometown to start his new job. This is the news that he told me last nite. Well, the feeling of it is a bit neutral now. At first when he was back at KK last week and him telling me he was going for few interviews, I was quite upset bout it but after he had confirmed to me last 9...I was like jz OK only. Didnt have the feeling of angry or loss o watever negative thoughts came across. Mayb I starts to learn of letting it go since I have been holding him for 4yrs in Kch. It's time for him to make his very own decision and its time for him to be more comfortable and enjoyable with his chosen road.
This is mayb I m in my final year so I feel a lot Ok about it cos I may graduate (OH! I have to stand strong for this, Darn it right!)end of tis yr and jz by d time I finish will join him there (KK)...Sometimes we have to be fair n its not about who shud sacrifice more or shud tolerate more(of cos guys right?hehe). He have tolerated with me here for 4 yrs which in a place he had no one close or even friends accept colleagues and my frens at all but ME only. So, mayb thinking of the feeling he was in has given me an awake call to let him be(Not relli yet though,oops!). Yah, maybe not more than a yr time I will be in his position dy..which is me gonna miss hometown and hate that place which I have to go sooner or later. But what to do, this is wat I choose so have to balance it up to continue this relationship.
Well, was it all about commitment or because of that we have been in 5yrs relationship? ErmM, I guess is because we really do care and love each other or we do really wan to make this bond work, rigth? If not why he is willing to be here for me and I m going to be willing for goin to a place that I will be a total stranger (scary!) for anyone there. Anyway, hope his choice will give him a path of sth he really like. Of cos, I will feel sth missing but for the future? To think about it....YA why NOT? so have a try and see thgs work out between us or not. Take it as a test from God.
No matter how we r parted well I guess in a week or 2 I will jz get used to it for not having you around cos I most of the time a loner so dun think it will be problem for me (hopefully~~hehe!),right? So go ahead and do what you like, I will be supporting you from this moment but jz dun tell me about going places like ENGLAND so that will be jz fine for me.
So, its time for me to let it go, right? Let it be let it be and times will tell how well or how sucks we gonna be in the future right? However, its all fate and destined and of cos we need to put our very best effort to work this out. :) So, this is my latest news and I guess it is gonna happennnnn........real soon! Mayb by that time I will be back to my own world which is owes alone. Everything alone!? no no no...I have to be INDEPENDENT! No more daily routine anymore which is be a driver (two thumbs up for me)....guess thr will be more freedom at that time which I hope it will be good. Yah, I have to be good!! damn...anyway stop here....before I continue with some fucked stuff and messed up my mood again~
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Pathetic and loner of ME
Hmm! Just to inform I may have problem for internet connection nowdays because of some some....sigh! Its better not say. So I hope I can get my line soon enough so I will be able to blog more! Express is interesting thing but sometimes writing out and when you got anonymous ppl comin in ur blog or mayb some issue which is have to be sensored to avoid creating sensitiveness relli shit thgs up right?
Anyway I m doing stuff at uni at this moment and its late dy and I cant wait to go home but because of unable to online problem leads me for a need to stay at Uni a longer time to do my posting and researching for my works at Uni. and shit this cos I hate staying at Uni accept for class. Talking about Uni, so far actually this semester is ok for me lerr...cos those kids in the block which are same class with me was nice and friendly. They relli can make fren wit u jz in a click but for me they are jz one of the cloud for this semester. By the time the sem has finish, I will forget them and they will forget who the fuck am I and here it goes another bunch of "hi ByE" friends right? Hehehehe!
But still lah...they r nice kids which they r willing to approach you 1st. Am I lucky or what? Because every sem I m worried of who I m goonnnnaaa group with for assignts? Ya, this is why I HATE group assignts. I prefer doing alone because being individual all the time won't encounters unfair issue (like my previous sem-cb1 tat girl TYT)) especially school works, right? If you say working different lah cos most of the time need teamwork rite. But I m Jz so NOT the type of teamwork person because...welll....shy in a way though when giving out ideas or comments or watever lah. So fuck that introduction class I have last week which make me so sick and looks like an ALIEN in front of the lecturer and those kid in the block. Darn! Anyway, the story started by this way....the lecturer wan ask to introduce ourself for the 1st tutorial class (sounds like primary school or high school le??? *i feel lame*) anyway moving on...we do it a lil' different from our young days which is after introducing ourself we have to pick a "FRIEND" in the class to describe him/her. AND for your INFORMATION and hell SAKE I don know anyone in that class (shameful me:()and how the FUCK I m gonna to pick a "FRIEND" to DESCRIBE! So shitty when it is my turn to introduce. So I introduced myself then I tot it is done until my lecturer told me to pick a "FRIEND" so I guess u know how fucking sick at that time, right? Then...I told my lecturer I dun have friend here n I dunno anyone so I m unable to describe anyone at all. So,The lecturer was like "WHAT?! how come you dunno anyone here as you are a final year student?" Yah, i feel like putting my face in some shit hole to cover every single part of my face.
Gosh, I can feel those kids in the block talking back or laffing bout how pathetic I am. GrRRr! so geram to tot about it! Come on lah! I got my own friend lah which is not kid in the block mah! N i more not social type ler.....so dun think I m a clown or ALIEN! Sheesh!
oK this enough of my silly part and my embarassing moment. haha! Ya, i still can laugh bout it because i think I have get used to it cos there is always ppl around at campus asking "y i m always ALONE?" so, you get it? I m pathetic, loner and wackoo here... :P
Gtg home..its late....catch up soon~
Anyway I m doing stuff at uni at this moment and its late dy and I cant wait to go home but because of unable to online problem leads me for a need to stay at Uni a longer time to do my posting and researching for my works at Uni. and shit this cos I hate staying at Uni accept for class. Talking about Uni, so far actually this semester is ok for me lerr...cos those kids in the block which are same class with me was nice and friendly. They relli can make fren wit u jz in a click but for me they are jz one of the cloud for this semester. By the time the sem has finish, I will forget them and they will forget who the fuck am I and here it goes another bunch of "hi ByE" friends right? Hehehehe!
But still lah...they r nice kids which they r willing to approach you 1st. Am I lucky or what? Because every sem I m worried of who I m goonnnnaaa group with for assignts? Ya, this is why I HATE group assignts. I prefer doing alone because being individual all the time won't encounters unfair issue (like my previous sem-cb1 tat girl TYT)) especially school works, right? If you say working different lah cos most of the time need teamwork rite. But I m Jz so NOT the type of teamwork person because...welll....shy in a way though when giving out ideas or comments or watever lah. So fuck that introduction class I have last week which make me so sick and looks like an ALIEN in front of the lecturer and those kid in the block. Darn! Anyway, the story started by this way....the lecturer wan ask to introduce ourself for the 1st tutorial class (sounds like primary school or high school le??? *i feel lame*) anyway moving on...we do it a lil' different from our young days which is after introducing ourself we have to pick a "FRIEND" in the class to describe him/her. AND for your INFORMATION and hell SAKE I don know anyone in that class (shameful me:()and how the FUCK I m gonna to pick a "FRIEND" to DESCRIBE! So shitty when it is my turn to introduce. So I introduced myself then I tot it is done until my lecturer told me to pick a "FRIEND" so I guess u know how fucking sick at that time, right? Then...I told my lecturer I dun have friend here n I dunno anyone so I m unable to describe anyone at all. So,The lecturer was like "WHAT?! how come you dunno anyone here as you are a final year student?" Yah, i feel like putting my face in some shit hole to cover every single part of my face.
Gosh, I can feel those kids in the block talking back or laffing bout how pathetic I am. GrRRr! so geram to tot about it! Come on lah! I got my own friend lah which is not kid in the block mah! N i more not social type ler.....so dun think I m a clown or ALIEN! Sheesh!
oK this enough of my silly part and my embarassing moment. haha! Ya, i still can laugh bout it because i think I have get used to it cos there is always ppl around at campus asking "y i m always ALONE?" so, you get it? I m pathetic, loner and wackoo here... :P
Gtg home..its late....catch up soon~
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Jz a day....
Hm! How to start! Jz a brief tok bout my sick sick boring day again. Din vote for tis election becos of believing tat asshole bout some issue n in d end I din get to register on time to vote for this election but i m looking forward for d next election coming to. Anyway 1st wat a shit thg happen to d 12th election as our BN has stomp down quite a hit this time as they lost 5 of their states to the Opposition. Not much comment to give as I m not d political type of ass here...but anyhow Congrat to the BN of Stampin which have won. Well, time will tells who is more capable of doin stuff for the country o for Us. So, in this 5 yrs time they have to show somethg out for d Rakyat if not we will be back 2 d circle again! So good luck to we Malaysians n hope thr is a better tomorrow wit those winner. Be more alert of any action and move u gonna make cos the other side will be watching how you guys survive. :)
Anyway moving on....i slept 7 am this morning n woke up around 11 until now. Give me a lot of thoughts about a friend's situation. His family has broken into pieces and I have known him for about 12 yrs and he is owes the guy who love his family a lot and I guess those broken "big pieces" of his family in this 4 yrs have been quite a huge IMPACT for him. However, it has been 4 yrs dy....yet I jz knew by this morning while chatting wit him on MSN which shocked d hell outta me. He was a buddy to someone close to me and I knew him when I was kid. He was jz like a big bully bro for me. Well, wat he have told us really endure me from thinking that he is really strong becos he have been keeping this secret for 4 yrs without telling anyone or any of his closest buddy until now. For God sake, he has been holding so much of those burden by himself which I really wan to give him salute for standing til now.
The whole shit makes me think a lot. Especially thinking about what I have been tru or goin tru makes me so sick and even ever tot of the whole world is turning my life upside down becos of some shit stuff happen to me but or yet this guy I have known was some kind i tot is a spoiled brat for whole time. In a turn he actually can handle his situation by tat way...unbelievable rite Miss J? hehehe!
Well, it makes me feel like telling some ppl who tot he/she is in some hardship but to compare it is so differen n small. ANyhow the story is promised to be kept so my lips will be sealed n all I can tok bout it is wit Miss J! Luckily we both knw if not waahhhh....put in d heart so "xin ku" le. hehehe...however I hope this will be better in d coming days for my dear fren.....
Anyway moving on....i slept 7 am this morning n woke up around 11 until now. Give me a lot of thoughts about a friend's situation. His family has broken into pieces and I have known him for about 12 yrs and he is owes the guy who love his family a lot and I guess those broken "big pieces" of his family in this 4 yrs have been quite a huge IMPACT for him. However, it has been 4 yrs dy....yet I jz knew by this morning while chatting wit him on MSN which shocked d hell outta me. He was a buddy to someone close to me and I knew him when I was kid. He was jz like a big bully bro for me. Well, wat he have told us really endure me from thinking that he is really strong becos he have been keeping this secret for 4 yrs without telling anyone or any of his closest buddy until now. For God sake, he has been holding so much of those burden by himself which I really wan to give him salute for standing til now.
The whole shit makes me think a lot. Especially thinking about what I have been tru or goin tru makes me so sick and even ever tot of the whole world is turning my life upside down becos of some shit stuff happen to me but or yet this guy I have known was some kind i tot is a spoiled brat for whole time. In a turn he actually can handle his situation by tat way...unbelievable rite Miss J? hehehe!
Well, it makes me feel like telling some ppl who tot he/she is in some hardship but to compare it is so differen n small. ANyhow the story is promised to be kept so my lips will be sealed n all I can tok bout it is wit Miss J! Luckily we both knw if not waahhhh....put in d heart so "xin ku" le. hehehe...however I hope this will be better in d coming days for my dear fren.....
Thursday, March 6, 2008
They may not want it this way....
Abortion is never ever an easy decision for any ladies in the world. No matter she is in her young teens or late teens or even adults. When the young teens found out they are pregnant, 1st thg come into their mind were abortion because of what? because of fearing that their parents will disown them or hate them. What about late teens? They of cos still fear about their parent especially the Asians like we Malaysian chinese or even other races here...we are all brought up in a more conservative manner and teaching. Eventhough the young teens can be real open-minded yet they still have some inner part of them fearing their parents conservative manner. However there are especially nowdays many late teens would not go for abortion unless they really have a very very hard situation.
Just about last 2 weeks ago I got a news from a friend that she was pregnant and of cos she is takin her diploma or degree in college. I knew her for about 7 yrs and I knw her parents and I know her situation so her decision is to send tat lil life inside her tummy to a far far place. The moment she gave me that news it feels like a knife stab into my heart. I feel so bad about it. I do not know how respond to her. I wanted to scold her for being foolish and make her decision 2 fast but when I calm down and think about if I were in her situation what will I do? Ya, of cos I may have make the same thought like her but I may not have the guts because I dont agree abortion as it is so cruel.
At that moment, what I can say to her is "No matter what you do or decide I hope it will be the best for you at the moment and I will support you" (Sounds like I am also helping to murder). So, she decided to send the embryo inside her which was already 6 weeks (ya i know some are 2mths but come on no matter how many days, weeks or mths it's a LIFE) dy to that far place. My heart was filled with pain and anger. I wanted to scold her but I know I shouldnt because she is more than a millions time painful than me or anyone else in the world. So, I rather keep my mouth sealed until one day before her abortion she called me. She told me she is heartbroken and she knew that it will haunt her forever after the whole process. She was strong, she hold her tears even on the phone with me but I know how hurt she was when she spill out the word "murderer". She told me that she is a murderer, she is gonna kill her very own baby, she will never know her baby forever and ever. From that minute she told me, I was shattered into pieces. Imagine I m not being the person who is encountering this can send a knife piercing tru my heart, what else that lady who is the one encounterin the whole situation and calling herself a murderer for her own baby? Mayb that pain of the mothers who have done this, we will never know how hurt and frightening for them. Can you see or feel how terrified she was or those young girls who have the same case? Do you know the heart was broken into pieces which will never be put back into 1 piece as it is a 1 time chance, a 1 time "that" baby? Yes, we will have another baby but its not him/her anymore. Those who never have that experience will never know how deep fucking shit painful, right?
In the end for my friend, it still happens and life go on bringing along the pain, grief and guilt for a very long long path...
So, guys play safe yah and dun make a lifetime mistake or indirectly being a murderer.
May God Bless my Dear friend and those who have lost their lost one as she and them has admitted to the murder, grieving over the lost one, forgive the ones who helped with the murder and hel her to forgive oneself.
Just about last 2 weeks ago I got a news from a friend that she was pregnant and of cos she is takin her diploma or degree in college. I knew her for about 7 yrs and I knw her parents and I know her situation so her decision is to send tat lil life inside her tummy to a far far place. The moment she gave me that news it feels like a knife stab into my heart. I feel so bad about it. I do not know how respond to her. I wanted to scold her for being foolish and make her decision 2 fast but when I calm down and think about if I were in her situation what will I do? Ya, of cos I may have make the same thought like her but I may not have the guts because I dont agree abortion as it is so cruel.
At that moment, what I can say to her is "No matter what you do or decide I hope it will be the best for you at the moment and I will support you" (Sounds like I am also helping to murder). So, she decided to send the embryo inside her which was already 6 weeks (ya i know some are 2mths but come on no matter how many days, weeks or mths it's a LIFE) dy to that far place. My heart was filled with pain and anger. I wanted to scold her but I know I shouldnt because she is more than a millions time painful than me or anyone else in the world. So, I rather keep my mouth sealed until one day before her abortion she called me. She told me she is heartbroken and she knew that it will haunt her forever after the whole process. She was strong, she hold her tears even on the phone with me but I know how hurt she was when she spill out the word "murderer". She told me that she is a murderer, she is gonna kill her very own baby, she will never know her baby forever and ever. From that minute she told me, I was shattered into pieces. Imagine I m not being the person who is encountering this can send a knife piercing tru my heart, what else that lady who is the one encounterin the whole situation and calling herself a murderer for her own baby? Mayb that pain of the mothers who have done this, we will never know how hurt and frightening for them. Can you see or feel how terrified she was or those young girls who have the same case? Do you know the heart was broken into pieces which will never be put back into 1 piece as it is a 1 time chance, a 1 time "that" baby? Yes, we will have another baby but its not him/her anymore. Those who never have that experience will never know how deep fucking shit painful, right?
In the end for my friend, it still happens and life go on bringing along the pain, grief and guilt for a very long long path...
So, guys play safe yah and dun make a lifetime mistake or indirectly being a murderer.
May God Bless my Dear friend and those who have lost their lost one as she and them has admitted to the murder, grieving over the lost one, forgive the ones who helped with the murder and hel her to forgive oneself.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
My part of sour note...
The feeling is killed? Who the murderer is, who to blame is over dy. I do not wan to state it out. I really wish it can turn back the time which every said lil words to be not spoken out on that day. It has been a week dy.. Both are my closest girl friend I have known. I like their companion, I love what they are though they have their very own attitude which some might have bring shit feeling to me but I accept who she is and what she is. Both have differen attitude but both have one same attitude which they have so much pride in them. I m not sure whether I m being in the middle or what. And I know my situation is different wit "Miss S" as I have other connection with her besides being a friend. "Miss J" says that I wont have a problem when times can slowly tell n mend the road but the feeling of seeing both of you is just so not right at all. Yea I know, we cant change the fact and thr is lots of unexpected issue will happen in between a human connection but I really wan 2 save this wreck ship but I m so helplessly sitting here unable to mend the wreck ship between both of u.
Friend ma o not?? :S
Maybe time will mend the whole thing but slowly the connection rope will be rotting like a dead body n it will jz break n nnever ever to be like the whole original rope which have been used for almost 6 - 7 yrs time to hold on this friendship. No matter how many apologised u make is all to nothing. They maybe still be friend but maybe tat 6-7yrs of friendship will turn into a whole new awkward different feel of "normal friend" dy..
Yea, I do wanna avoid the whole picture and I do not wan to think about this whole shit between us. Me and her is ok but u n her le? I do not want to be me n her, me n u or u n her, wat I want is us! Will we able to make it into "us" again? Is our friendship that brittle? or Is that you two friendship that is not strong?
I am not sort of narcissistic so I m willing to be the clown for them or being the coward as long we r happy. I have so much friend but not so much can really click with me and not so much makes me wanna share most of my stuff with them. Mayb one day we will be like our old self back to the same old circle having each other around and maybe not. Remembering when we were all young children, dont we jz like to tell our mate that "dont wan friend u liaw" but the very next day in school we r back 2 normal after some letter writing or some shoutin each other. But when we get older, thr seems to be lots of changes dy and thr r issues tht we r unable 2 solve in a simple letter writing or a simple arguments anymore. I guess the trend now is "cold wars" n hell sake I hate cold wars. It makes my mouth stink for not speaking to someone u care n love.
Its not that we lose each other we cant survive, of cos any of us will survive even thr is our closest family member walking away from our life nonetheless of a friend, right? but losing someone still will be a pity for all we have gone tru n being so close.
No expectation and guessing will be the best for me to be sane at the moment.....let it be let it be.....(sigh!)Its bluee.....
"Let it Be" (The Beatles)
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.
And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Friend ma o not?? :S
Maybe time will mend the whole thing but slowly the connection rope will be rotting like a dead body n it will jz break n nnever ever to be like the whole original rope which have been used for almost 6 - 7 yrs time to hold on this friendship. No matter how many apologised u make is all to nothing. They maybe still be friend but maybe tat 6-7yrs of friendship will turn into a whole new awkward different feel of "normal friend" dy..
Yea, I do wanna avoid the whole picture and I do not wan to think about this whole shit between us. Me and her is ok but u n her le? I do not want to be me n her, me n u or u n her, wat I want is us! Will we able to make it into "us" again? Is our friendship that brittle? or Is that you two friendship that is not strong?
I am not sort of narcissistic so I m willing to be the clown for them or being the coward as long we r happy. I have so much friend but not so much can really click with me and not so much makes me wanna share most of my stuff with them. Mayb one day we will be like our old self back to the same old circle having each other around and maybe not. Remembering when we were all young children, dont we jz like to tell our mate that "dont wan friend u liaw" but the very next day in school we r back 2 normal after some letter writing or some shoutin each other. But when we get older, thr seems to be lots of changes dy and thr r issues tht we r unable 2 solve in a simple letter writing or a simple arguments anymore. I guess the trend now is "cold wars" n hell sake I hate cold wars. It makes my mouth stink for not speaking to someone u care n love.
Its not that we lose each other we cant survive, of cos any of us will survive even thr is our closest family member walking away from our life nonetheless of a friend, right? but losing someone still will be a pity for all we have gone tru n being so close.
No expectation and guessing will be the best for me to be sane at the moment.....let it be let it be.....(sigh!)Its bluee.....
"Let it Be" (The Beatles)
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.
And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Monday, March 3, 2008
It's driving me crazy...
This crack up misunderstanding between us is driving me nuts! Was it all about tat one "bad word" I have said? Or were thr broken pieces in ur heart since the "MSN war" we had on October last yr? Ya, wht so big deal and wats d problem here? I really don know. I have explained and I have make a step forward jz to make sure thgs will be back to the rite track but all you do is tryin to avoid the whole thg or are u still upset bout the whole case till u do not want 2 give us any feedback about the problem?
I really dunno whr or how it started this whole shit. Jz a picture comment and "wooosh" came ur fire burning us? U knw I have smelly mouth, dont you? I have vulgar words sticking on my mouth for my damn whole 15 yrs of life girl! n yet u have known me for about 6 yrs but stil u can misunderstand me jz becos of a "wtf"? I m really getting nuts here for u not replyin my sms and calls and even msn. I even have dreams taht we r not okay in thr! If you wan me 2 apologised for d word I have said. I will for God sake if it mends all our sickening attitude all this while so I m really sorry to you that I have a broken mouth which likes to spit dirty words all the time. All those shit words doesnt bring any intention to you or to anyone I have spoken to.
If this misunderstand gonna end our closeness than I do not know wat else i can says o do as I guess it can only show that we have a weak friendship here baby... I really do not wan that to happen between us. I really hope things can be solve soon and pls dun make me do tht much assumption here all along...
I need some response from you. I do not want us to feel uncomfortable whn the time we gonna meet up or u have decided not 2 meet up anymore? Is it possible? If you r on a mood swings I will let u have ur time to be back 2 normal again but at least give me an answer 2 knw that everything will be allrite in future...
If u r hurt pls let me know and we can talk thgs out if you do care about our friendship. No avoiding is needed between us. We can solve by jz saying out our feeling. Thr wont be any hard feelin if u let me knw wat u have been thinkin about me. Thr is no turning back or eating back wat I have said but jz to spit out ur moment feeling...and If thr is anythg wrong between us all we have to do is let it all out n bring us more closer instead of letting the misunderstand hiding inside to make it worse in our coming days....
We need to have a good chat. I don like cold wars. Thr is no unsolving matters between a very close fren. It really sickening for me to c what and how me, u and her have turn into...this kind of awkward feeling. I m not afraid to let u c my weakness and I have never show ego to you at all and this shows how close I wanna be with you and her. We r all good n close fren and hope thr is nothing big deal bout this whole shit. Mayb jz a talk will dwell all those shit into somewhr far which in future we may sit down and laugh on our stupidity, right?
It hurts to see and I don wan make anymore assumptions for your action cos all I hope is to have a better tomorroww....between us!
I really dunno whr or how it started this whole shit. Jz a picture comment and "wooosh" came ur fire burning us? U knw I have smelly mouth, dont you? I have vulgar words sticking on my mouth for my damn whole 15 yrs of life girl! n yet u have known me for about 6 yrs but stil u can misunderstand me jz becos of a "wtf"? I m really getting nuts here for u not replyin my sms and calls and even msn. I even have dreams taht we r not okay in thr! If you wan me 2 apologised for d word I have said. I will for God sake if it mends all our sickening attitude all this while so I m really sorry to you that I have a broken mouth which likes to spit dirty words all the time. All those shit words doesnt bring any intention to you or to anyone I have spoken to.
If this misunderstand gonna end our closeness than I do not know wat else i can says o do as I guess it can only show that we have a weak friendship here baby... I really do not wan that to happen between us. I really hope things can be solve soon and pls dun make me do tht much assumption here all along...
I need some response from you. I do not want us to feel uncomfortable whn the time we gonna meet up or u have decided not 2 meet up anymore? Is it possible? If you r on a mood swings I will let u have ur time to be back 2 normal again but at least give me an answer 2 knw that everything will be allrite in future...
If u r hurt pls let me know and we can talk thgs out if you do care about our friendship. No avoiding is needed between us. We can solve by jz saying out our feeling. Thr wont be any hard feelin if u let me knw wat u have been thinkin about me. Thr is no turning back or eating back wat I have said but jz to spit out ur moment feeling...and If thr is anythg wrong between us all we have to do is let it all out n bring us more closer instead of letting the misunderstand hiding inside to make it worse in our coming days....
We need to have a good chat. I don like cold wars. Thr is no unsolving matters between a very close fren. It really sickening for me to c what and how me, u and her have turn into...this kind of awkward feeling. I m not afraid to let u c my weakness and I have never show ego to you at all and this shows how close I wanna be with you and her. We r all good n close fren and hope thr is nothing big deal bout this whole shit. Mayb jz a talk will dwell all those shit into somewhr far which in future we may sit down and laugh on our stupidity, right?
It hurts to see and I don wan make anymore assumptions for your action cos all I hope is to have a better tomorroww....between us!
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