I wonder if it is when all of us grew older, time seems to be not enough all the time. Its like the clock is clicking or ticking so fast tat a day can jz pass in a glimpse. To think back, when we r still kids, how we hope d clock will tick faster so tat we can jz end our school session n get back home to play but now though studyin in uni d time-table is more flexible n relaxing but for me I feel like I always dun have enuff time for tis n tat. Jz like today, my class was in d morning 8.30am-10.30am n by d time i finish my class,went to lunch wit mum n dad n drive myself back home its already 1 sth in d afternoon. Half a day has jz pass like tat with no thg achieved or gained. Since reached home I arranged my damn time-table which is a mess with lots of clashes here n thr then d time is jz gone for an hour dy.
Ya,its 2 pm already n few more hours our sun gonna set n night gonna fall out. N when we get to sleep n wake up. Tomolo is another day again. Feel so wasted o feel like "cho boh lan" duh! Tats d thg, sometimes i still feel yesterday we jz celebrated our new yr but now its already d month of AUGUST! And 4 more mths to go, we r gonna celebrate another new yr...the faster we feel d time tick, the older we feel n d more circumtances or problems or stuff awaiting in front of us to face n to solve. who knws in a glance of a period of time in which we dun feel its goin slow as we r gonna b buzy allocating a better life,jobs, feeding kids n bla bla blah...then suddenly we take a break 2 c how much n wat we have gone tru n by dat time we jz realised we have live half of d century dy? hahaha....jz like our parents they grow up,work,married,raise kid,work n work n work n now they r all fill with grey hairs at their head n we never know when they will leave us from tis world to do their step by ourself.
To think about it, a sick feeling jz fill up our body. Feel so sick 2 face those unbearable pains, feel so sick tat we r gonna face d world by all ourself....so y not have a think about time can be gone so fast n if v r still stuck in some old thgs which will not be ours anymore, then wats living a life for? move forward is d best n face the reality:D
Time is owes precious so y not make our life precious too by living it to d fullest. U never know wat will happen tomoro so y stuck urself up in somethg that has no turning point? Unless those who feel tat thr is stil turning point or they have more time to wait n wait for it.....
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Heartbroken or Heartbreak
Heartbroken or heartbreak is jz a simple word we used to hear from or said to someone and it is also a very normal situation to most of d people in d world especially in todays world or todays youngster or even at most adults. But y thr r still ppl unable cure from a heartbreak?
Heartbroken is a very weird affliction in which can give us human an intense pain in d heart n emotions which we all physically cant c the d injury on our body. It also can make us go over n over of d past n slowly n dashly make ourselves compelled with so many many diff ideas n even fantasies to overcome our pain. Is this a right way? Nah! If we do keep on like tat it will jz make our own feeling worse. Of cos when an important love relationship ends thr will be lots of different responses triggering in our mind cos of d feeling of loss n pain. As we know, wat brings us to have a love relationship? -->FEELINGS rite? ok wat ended us wit heartbroken?-->FEELINGS also? Ya i think most of all yes...y not feeling? we love some1 becos we jz hav d sensation of adoring tat person. we break up becos of losing d feeling towards tat person u used to love? but of cos nowadays its not only feelings but lots lots of different factors dy which is those realistic o materialistic factors lah. Okay, back a bit bout feelings. It is something tat is so vague in idea n a flow of sensation sending down to our heart n mind in a very unpredictable timing or way. It is sth so hard to maintain,fulfill,accept n oso a very uncertain, hidden,complicated sense build inside us.
So, all this heartbroken,feelings is all about emotions. It make us pain, distress, angry, sad, devastated, imbalance of life, lost track, despair,regretful,jealous...it goes on n on wit those negative terms n slowly it will jz bring us into depression n if we dun think of a way to heal ourself then we cant really move on wit our lifes anymore. So,ppl wit all this bereavement,parting of relationship n suffering pls cure urself n stand up again. Set urself a period of time to grief n aft d time pass then stand up again n look for a new start k. All this parting n suffering r unavoidable parts of our life.
To heal urself try to not to be DENIAL ->tryin to not accept what have happen and 1 is already accept BUT FEEL ANGRY ABOUT IT. However, when we r in heartbroken situation feeling grief is a natural process to go tru it but dun take so long cos thr others outside ur world waitin n wanting u...so dun get stuck n keep on repeating d same hurtful feelings over n over again. Also try changing some normal habits u were having n lead urself to a new habit n lifestyle to put d distressful part at d back of ur ass n make a fart of it k...
Losing a love or a heart wont destroy ur life cos thr r still SUN n MOON, DAY n NIGHT, jz like thr some others which can bring colors n beautiful moments to ur life. Road is still a long way to go so y not take those past as a sweet memories as u knw thr r still happy moments while we r with our previous love or relationship.
So, cheerz up no matter wat happen. Always remember to set a time 4 urself to mourn bout d pain n when its time over get back to ur life n stand up high again....
Even when 1 day our parents or our beloved one part from us from tis world we still have go onnnn cos v r still living n breathing...so wat else jz some broken relationship? Time to mourn n time to smile...its a recycle:)
So cheers up when u r done with ur mourning:D
Heartbroken is a very weird affliction in which can give us human an intense pain in d heart n emotions which we all physically cant c the d injury on our body. It also can make us go over n over of d past n slowly n dashly make ourselves compelled with so many many diff ideas n even fantasies to overcome our pain. Is this a right way? Nah! If we do keep on like tat it will jz make our own feeling worse. Of cos when an important love relationship ends thr will be lots of different responses triggering in our mind cos of d feeling of loss n pain. As we know, wat brings us to have a love relationship? -->FEELINGS rite? ok wat ended us wit heartbroken?-->FEELINGS also? Ya i think most of all yes...y not feeling? we love some1 becos we jz hav d sensation of adoring tat person. we break up becos of losing d feeling towards tat person u used to love? but of cos nowadays its not only feelings but lots lots of different factors dy which is those realistic o materialistic factors lah. Okay, back a bit bout feelings. It is something tat is so vague in idea n a flow of sensation sending down to our heart n mind in a very unpredictable timing or way. It is sth so hard to maintain,fulfill,accept n oso a very uncertain, hidden,complicated sense build inside us.
So, all this heartbroken,feelings is all about emotions. It make us pain, distress, angry, sad, devastated, imbalance of life, lost track, despair,regretful,jealous...it goes on n on wit those negative terms n slowly it will jz bring us into depression n if we dun think of a way to heal ourself then we cant really move on wit our lifes anymore. So,ppl wit all this bereavement,parting of relationship n suffering pls cure urself n stand up again. Set urself a period of time to grief n aft d time pass then stand up again n look for a new start k. All this parting n suffering r unavoidable parts of our life.
To heal urself try to not to be DENIAL ->tryin to not accept what have happen and 1 is already accept BUT FEEL ANGRY ABOUT IT. However, when we r in heartbroken situation feeling grief is a natural process to go tru it but dun take so long cos thr others outside ur world waitin n wanting u...so dun get stuck n keep on repeating d same hurtful feelings over n over again. Also try changing some normal habits u were having n lead urself to a new habit n lifestyle to put d distressful part at d back of ur ass n make a fart of it k...
Losing a love or a heart wont destroy ur life cos thr r still SUN n MOON, DAY n NIGHT, jz like thr some others which can bring colors n beautiful moments to ur life. Road is still a long way to go so y not take those past as a sweet memories as u knw thr r still happy moments while we r with our previous love or relationship.
So, cheerz up no matter wat happen. Always remember to set a time 4 urself to mourn bout d pain n when its time over get back to ur life n stand up high again....
Even when 1 day our parents or our beloved one part from us from tis world we still have go onnnn cos v r still living n breathing...so wat else jz some broken relationship? Time to mourn n time to smile...its a recycle:)
So cheers up when u r done with ur mourning:D
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
I m still in shock...
Never thought of living my life for 22 yrs who never have a problem of going out late or go out often but becos of 1 huge mistake me myself had make n choose to confess it all to her n i m grounded by both parent. Mum have change her strategy, she is not like b4 anymore in which is by scolding, grumbling n making u wanna burst to quarrel with her instead of she use a gentle way of telling u n advising u n oso a gentle way of telling - "u must stay home more dy k becos of ur mistake which have let us so disappointed n u r a grown up dy so u better c ur limit n handle ur own schedule k" - gosh isnt tat scary? if u r my mum's dotter u will feel scary all of a sudden she chat wit u nicely n slowly. Sigh...
So u c, Wanna go out oso need to c d timing, c whose bridge i can borrow to cross. Its my 1st day of being warned n grounded n i m so not used to it dy..Wat a joke...22yrs old got grounded! dang! hahaha...oh well, life! its always unpredictable n my road of life all tis while got lots of surprising thgs happen beside me. Ya, Jass u r right I got full of excitement stuff happening in my life but not colorful one n its jz all grey k.
N all this is so mind suicidal for me. A sudden change of mum being so understanding, a sudden change of all d bad thgs turn out to be solved easily with a wink of an eye, a sudden feel of luck is on my side now....ya so many sudden...so many unacceptable sudden n i m bit of having a problem to digest it all in jz a glimpse.
Though thr is a sigh of relief, but sometime when thgs turn so upside down of wat u xpected its jz hard to accept wats it. But in d fact it have happen so all those emotion days, depressing days, stress-out days has all of a sudden jz turn into nothing jz like a puff of smoke from ur mouth n fade-out in a secs. Duh~
Yr 2006-2007 dilemma is jz like tat n its jz poof or done by like tat. It stil makes me wonder how can it be so easy n simple but I guess its time to let go dy as d outcome has shown so I wanna say bye bye to those stupid thgs I have done n let it 4ever disappear from my mind n heart. YEA! kekeke!
NOw I can SHOUT OUT LOUD "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"! HAHAHA...yeehaaa....
P.s: Norman dun depress liaw lahh..thr is owes a way out lah k....c to d brighter side yaa...:D
So u c, Wanna go out oso need to c d timing, c whose bridge i can borrow to cross. Its my 1st day of being warned n grounded n i m so not used to it dy..Wat a joke...22yrs old got grounded! dang! hahaha...oh well, life! its always unpredictable n my road of life all tis while got lots of surprising thgs happen beside me. Ya, Jass u r right I got full of excitement stuff happening in my life but not colorful one n its jz all grey k.
N all this is so mind suicidal for me. A sudden change of mum being so understanding, a sudden change of all d bad thgs turn out to be solved easily with a wink of an eye, a sudden feel of luck is on my side now....ya so many sudden...so many unacceptable sudden n i m bit of having a problem to digest it all in jz a glimpse.
Though thr is a sigh of relief, but sometime when thgs turn so upside down of wat u xpected its jz hard to accept wats it. But in d fact it have happen so all those emotion days, depressing days, stress-out days has all of a sudden jz turn into nothing jz like a puff of smoke from ur mouth n fade-out in a secs. Duh~
Yr 2006-2007 dilemma is jz like tat n its jz poof or done by like tat. It stil makes me wonder how can it be so easy n simple but I guess its time to let go dy as d outcome has shown so I wanna say bye bye to those stupid thgs I have done n let it 4ever disappear from my mind n heart. YEA! kekeke!
NOw I can SHOUT OUT LOUD "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"! HAHAHA...yeehaaa....
P.s: Norman dun depress liaw lahh..thr is owes a way out lah k....c to d brighter side yaa...:D
Monday, August 6, 2007
A miracle? A change of Fate? O jz Change of ME n MUM~:D
Hmm...I suppose to watch my tvb drama series but ending up my mum came in my room n chit chat till now. So surprisingly....well, it has been so long I dun have a good chat wit her dy o shud i say I never have a real long talk about lots of thgs with her with a peace ending (hehe...ya v din end up quarreling or end up unacceptable thoughts).Yesh yesh a chat till now (1sth in d morning) . Guess a yr of 2007 was a good start at all. A change of me being more patience towards her attitude of me in her heart the bad n likes to fight back wit her all d times dotter. N d change of me being silence this whole yr no matter how temperate i was inside me. Guess its worth of it to change.
Ya, can see thr is changes of communication style between me n her. Ya, i do take d advice from Edmund n James. Firstly, the thought of 2 slow 4 a change but I guess its all not too slow yet. hehe! Can feel d way of most daughter in d world to have a lil chit chat session wit mum is jz so nice n comfy. Feel so warmth inside...mayb she have change too...guess James did tell her sth. Mayb both of our thgs need a third party to cure us..
Ya, its all of a sudden lots of changes n living 7 mths ahead of yr 2007 was really great all tiz while....
phEw! Being stubborn doesnt help or solute thgs out n being patience n being more tender is 1 solution to handle both our relationnshipp...Hopefully, those grey days n shit stuff happens b4 is all wipe off from tis yr on...n thr r owes rainbows n colors of life. It jz need time to wait for ur turn gua..so I have waited one dy...n hopefully thr r more 2 come n of cos I wont say i wont have another grey days but being more mature to handle it liaw bah....
hMmm, guess i can have a good nite sleep n tomolo 2 start a new semester again...with books,words n lecturersss...*eew* urghhh! hehehehe.....
Unable to stop d feeling of posting it out of wat happen jz now...d feeling of it err...i dunno how to described lah but frens who know me guez they know how great n satisfaction i m feelin noww.....:)) smile till wit double chin liaw lor...kekekeke...nitez!
Ya, can see thr is changes of communication style between me n her. Ya, i do take d advice from Edmund n James. Firstly, the thought of 2 slow 4 a change but I guess its all not too slow yet. hehe! Can feel d way of most daughter in d world to have a lil chit chat session wit mum is jz so nice n comfy. Feel so warmth inside...mayb she have change too...guess James did tell her sth. Mayb both of our thgs need a third party to cure us..
Ya, its all of a sudden lots of changes n living 7 mths ahead of yr 2007 was really great all tiz while....
phEw! Being stubborn doesnt help or solute thgs out n being patience n being more tender is 1 solution to handle both our relationnshipp...Hopefully, those grey days n shit stuff happens b4 is all wipe off from tis yr on...n thr r owes rainbows n colors of life. It jz need time to wait for ur turn gua..so I have waited one dy...n hopefully thr r more 2 come n of cos I wont say i wont have another grey days but being more mature to handle it liaw bah....
hMmm, guess i can have a good nite sleep n tomolo 2 start a new semester again...with books,words n lecturersss...*eew* urghhh! hehehehe.....
Unable to stop d feeling of posting it out of wat happen jz now...d feeling of it err...i dunno how to described lah but frens who know me guez they know how great n satisfaction i m feelin noww.....:)) smile till wit double chin liaw lor...kekekeke...nitez!
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Backiee....
Wow, its been a week I din post anythg at all. Was kinda bz wit my firking enrollment day n firking family politics (keke), n my very very own firking personal relationships. Really need some time of reality way n thinking to face tat 1 dilemma... n ya it took me 1 week 2 think clearly to take tat action to settle d most dilemma thg have happen to me in my 23 yrs of life. darn! Yay,done done done or settle settle settle.....*pheW*
Shud i jz shout out loud "YEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" or "yeeePeeeee"? hehehe....i m not shouting out loud yet but inside of me a relief of sigh flowing all over my nerve! I wanna thanks GOD for givin me another chance...:) okay okay stop all these drama drama act for a while...
Firstly to say sth which is SWINBURNE enrollment day SUX MY ASS OUT FOR FIRKING 3 HRS lining some queue which isnt a queue at all n yay u HAVE 2 LEARN TO CUT QUEUES if thr is any queues u gonna make in SWINBURNE damn it! anyway got to enroll at last wad...n over 4 about 4 days liaw lah so my gas a bit cool down liaw (inglishy gud le?) was a bit firked up wit words n mind thinkin tis few days so dun even wanna post anythg in case it become more mess up than those post. Bad english n grammar is like tat one lar! duh~
Secondly, er...i prefer to keep it confidential accept 3 of my frens knew bout it n i knw tat is my most fucking shitty thgs i have done n my most sickening dilemma which have been haunting me for more than half a yr...so kinda settle in a way...:P
Thirdly is, I m all alone again cos my soulmate or my dear have jz left me for his outstation duty n he is leaving me for 2-3mths. Darn! Tis is d 3rd day for not havin him beside me n at 1st i thought i m so not ok wit it coz I was having too much personal n family prob in which I need some1 2 stand beside me, to console n support me. But it jz happen, wanna go off one still have to go off n one wanna stay to face all d shits still have to confront it n face independently. sigh~it was quite over dy though. So I guess I still can stand up myself but I still miss him a lot n quite hurt tat he have to work so late everyday n I dunno y I m being so lovey dovey towards him lately n yah i miss his smells. damn! anyway, done with 3rdly...:)
Lastly, yea class startin tomorrow...n time table kinda sick cos quite pack as I have 3-4 classes in a day but not everyday of cos n tis I can accept but to attend class till 5.30pm n 1 have to be till 7.30pm really makes me sick. But at least I can skip some of my dinner cooking session. *giggles*
Ya I m done wit most of my 1 week updates which is jz boring as usual...hmm! wanna write sth more but mind is jz not workin at all...:S
mayb i wil think of sth to post soonnn....hopefully soon cos i jz realised I have finish downloading d 5 episodes of my tvb drama series -"the drive of life". keke! Okayz...better start watchin n start downloading another 5 episodes....
Shud i jz shout out loud "YEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" or "yeeePeeeee"? hehehe....i m not shouting out loud yet but inside of me a relief of sigh flowing all over my nerve! I wanna thanks GOD for givin me another chance...:) okay okay stop all these drama drama act for a while...
Firstly to say sth which is SWINBURNE enrollment day SUX MY ASS OUT FOR FIRKING 3 HRS lining some queue which isnt a queue at all n yay u HAVE 2 LEARN TO CUT QUEUES if thr is any queues u gonna make in SWINBURNE damn it! anyway got to enroll at last wad...n over 4 about 4 days liaw lah so my gas a bit cool down liaw (inglishy gud le?) was a bit firked up wit words n mind thinkin tis few days so dun even wanna post anythg in case it become more mess up than those post. Bad english n grammar is like tat one lar! duh~
Secondly, er...i prefer to keep it confidential accept 3 of my frens knew bout it n i knw tat is my most fucking shitty thgs i have done n my most sickening dilemma which have been haunting me for more than half a yr...so kinda settle in a way...:P
Thirdly is, I m all alone again cos my soulmate or my dear have jz left me for his outstation duty n he is leaving me for 2-3mths. Darn! Tis is d 3rd day for not havin him beside me n at 1st i thought i m so not ok wit it coz I was having too much personal n family prob in which I need some1 2 stand beside me, to console n support me. But it jz happen, wanna go off one still have to go off n one wanna stay to face all d shits still have to confront it n face independently. sigh~it was quite over dy though. So I guess I still can stand up myself but I still miss him a lot n quite hurt tat he have to work so late everyday n I dunno y I m being so lovey dovey towards him lately n yah i miss his smells. damn! anyway, done with 3rdly...:)
Lastly, yea class startin tomorrow...n time table kinda sick cos quite pack as I have 3-4 classes in a day but not everyday of cos n tis I can accept but to attend class till 5.30pm n 1 have to be till 7.30pm really makes me sick. But at least I can skip some of my dinner cooking session. *giggles*
Ya I m done wit most of my 1 week updates which is jz boring as usual...hmm! wanna write sth more but mind is jz not workin at all...:S
mayb i wil think of sth to post soonnn....hopefully soon cos i jz realised I have finish downloading d 5 episodes of my tvb drama series -"the drive of life". keke! Okayz...better start watchin n start downloading another 5 episodes....
Oh no!!!!!! I have suddenly thought of 1 shiat not settle yettttttt!damnn...n tat is takin studio photoooooo...urghhh~ ok ok...Jass n Phia tryin to give me memory of being a "sau nu"....errrrghhh..goosebumps growing~ dangggg! I will pay soonn...hopefully...n la la seng finish it fasttt...:P ekekeke! *snarlz*:Z oh ya, if tis photo taking session end up a bad n a clowning xperience 4 me then i m sure i will have some phobia in my future wedding photo session:P
Okay, done wit my crapz....tata..
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