Abortion is never ever an easy decision for any ladies in the world. No matter she is in her young teens or late teens or even adults. When the young teens found out they are pregnant, 1st thg come into their mind were abortion because of what? because of fearing that their parents will disown them or hate them. What about late teens? They of cos still fear about their parent especially the Asians like we Malaysian chinese or even other races here...we are all brought up in a more conservative manner and teaching. Eventhough the young teens can be real open-minded yet they still have some inner part of them fearing their parents conservative manner. However there are especially nowdays many late teens would not go for abortion unless they really have a very very hard situation.
Just about last 2 weeks ago I got a news from a friend that she was pregnant and of cos she is takin her diploma or degree in college. I knew her for about 7 yrs and I knw her parents and I know her situation so her decision is to send tat lil life inside her tummy to a far far place. The moment she gave me that news it feels like a knife stab into my heart. I feel so bad about it. I do not know how respond to her. I wanted to scold her for being foolish and make her decision 2 fast but when I calm down and think about if I were in her situation what will I do? Ya, of cos I may have make the same thought like her but I may not have the guts because I dont agree abortion as it is so cruel.
At that moment, what I can say to her is "No matter what you do or decide I hope it will be the best for you at the moment and I will support you" (Sounds like I am also helping to murder). So, she decided to send the embryo inside her which was already 6 weeks (ya i know some are 2mths but come on no matter how many days, weeks or mths it's a LIFE) dy to that far place. My heart was filled with pain and anger. I wanted to scold her but I know I shouldnt because she is more than a millions time painful than me or anyone else in the world. So, I rather keep my mouth sealed until one day before her abortion she called me. She told me she is heartbroken and she knew that it will haunt her forever after the whole process. She was strong, she hold her tears even on the phone with me but I know how hurt she was when she spill out the word "murderer". She told me that she is a murderer, she is gonna kill her very own baby, she will never know her baby forever and ever. From that minute she told me, I was shattered into pieces. Imagine I m not being the person who is encountering this can send a knife piercing tru my heart, what else that lady who is the one encounterin the whole situation and calling herself a murderer for her own baby? Mayb that pain of the mothers who have done this, we will never know how hurt and frightening for them. Can you see or feel how terrified she was or those young girls who have the same case? Do you know the heart was broken into pieces which will never be put back into 1 piece as it is a 1 time chance, a 1 time "that" baby? Yes, we will have another baby but its not him/her anymore. Those who never have that experience will never know how deep fucking shit painful, right?
In the end for my friend, it still happens and life go on bringing along the pain, grief and guilt for a very long long path...
So, guys play safe yah and dun make a lifetime mistake or indirectly being a murderer.
May God Bless my Dear friend and those who have lost their lost one as she and them has admitted to the murder, grieving over the lost one, forgive the ones who helped with the murder and hel her to forgive oneself.
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