Ya, here goes the result or the conclusion I have been waiting and fearing of. Yes, he had really decided to quit his job for sure and go back to his hometown to start his new job. This is the news that he told me last nite. Well, the feeling of it is a bit neutral now. At first when he was back at KK last week and him telling me he was going for few interviews, I was quite upset bout it but after he had confirmed to me last 9...I was like jz OK only. Didnt have the feeling of angry or loss o watever negative thoughts came across. Mayb I starts to learn of letting it go since I have been holding him for 4yrs in Kch. It's time for him to make his very own decision and its time for him to be more comfortable and enjoyable with his chosen road.
This is mayb I m in my final year so I feel a lot Ok about it cos I may graduate (OH! I have to stand strong for this, Darn it right!)end of tis yr and jz by d time I finish will join him there (KK)...Sometimes we have to be fair n its not about who shud sacrifice more or shud tolerate more(of cos guys right?hehe). He have tolerated with me here for 4 yrs which in a place he had no one close or even friends accept colleagues and my frens at all but ME only. So, mayb thinking of the feeling he was in has given me an awake call to let him be(Not relli yet though,oops!). Yah, maybe not more than a yr time I will be in his position dy..which is me gonna miss hometown and hate that place which I have to go sooner or later. But what to do, this is wat I choose so have to balance it up to continue this relationship.
Well, was it all about commitment or because of that we have been in 5yrs relationship? ErmM, I guess is because we really do care and love each other or we do really wan to make this bond work, rigth? If not why he is willing to be here for me and I m going to be willing for goin to a place that I will be a total stranger (scary!) for anyone there. Anyway, hope his choice will give him a path of sth he really like. Of cos, I will feel sth missing but for the future? To think about it....YA why NOT? so have a try and see thgs work out between us or not. Take it as a test from God.
No matter how we r parted well I guess in a week or 2 I will jz get used to it for not having you around cos I most of the time a loner so dun think it will be problem for me (hopefully~~hehe!),right? So go ahead and do what you like, I will be supporting you from this moment but jz dun tell me about going places like ENGLAND so that will be jz fine for me.
So, its time for me to let it go, right? Let it be let it be and times will tell how well or how sucks we gonna be in the future right? However, its all fate and destined and of cos we need to put our very best effort to work this out. :) So, this is my latest news and I guess it is gonna happennnnn........real soon! Mayb by that time I will be back to my own world which is owes alone. Everything alone!? no no no...I have to be INDEPENDENT! No more daily routine anymore which is be a driver (two thumbs up for me)....guess thr will be more freedom at that time which I hope it will be good. Yah, I have to be good!! damn...anyway stop here....before I continue with some fucked stuff and messed up my mood again~
9 comments:
hope it wil be 1 of the spark btw u n him!!!
Yah I hope so.....I have to make myself bz not to think too much. Hehe! Its cominggg.....~~~~ panic panic panic chin~....hehehehe!!
hey there, u knw wat? give it time after he leaves n u r gonna run crazy...do i make sence? shit i neva make sence. cheers!
distance is killing. sorry for me being such a sadist. cos currently i cant see anything optimistic.
goodluck anyway sharon and you know i always will support u!
hey, well its not my 1st time being separated but jz that this is my final year and I need some supporter by my side to go tru this damn uni final yr! hehehe! anyway, life is owes like tat so I will jz rantz here...and i guess it will be alrite besides being lonely only so ya Emmanuel I m goin crazy soon becos of boring! No one to talk 2 me at 9! No one to bring me for a movie or watever it is lah! :P hehee...addie! stay strong too...
yea, at least you got someone emotionally attached to you to get you thru those sleepless night and those difficult waking moments. You got someone to support you emotionally to get you thru those final year. I HAVE NOBODY! worse case, i am 3983 miles away from HOME, alone, totally all by myself, hurt, disappointed, gave in my all. so in your case, you should be contented. you can do it, you can make it. just stay loyal and hold strong for your part, Edmund is a good man. Promise me you will wait for him and be loyal.
you need supporter by your side? you have your friends. see how lucky you? so smile and be grateful.
:-)
owh...am so sorry to hear dat..u will be fine.
Friends can support but they aint gonna be 24 hrs by ur side. All they can do is spare a lil of their time jz to flood my mind wit some gossips but in d end of d nite n d next morning I have to face I m alone again! But well, life still goes on no matter wat is gonna happen.
Besides friend we can do othr thgs to nt think bout it. My friends are all working and i dun have uni frens cos they r jz unimates only so my friend can only spare their time 4 me at nite. They aint gonna comfort u all d time when u r out n I aint gonna rantz and pull a sad face to meet them. It's d fact already n I have to accept it. Somehow, I do miss him but not 24 hr of d day cos 2 much workload at uni so thr will be most time i m thinkin bout my uni works instead of him! I dun care much wht he do thr. We r all adults n we cant always keep an eye on someone or stop their freedom so y dun jz go by nature. :D
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