A mistake made because of stupidity is hard to be flush away from ur mind. The backbreaking of it is not the whole process of d mistake tat have made but is the fact of it happen! I m fill with guilty with that done mistake and I feel so blind when to think back bout it. Its a clear picture of a mistake in d first place yet I was so blindly to walk on it and found myself drench on it. A done of stupidity turns me into a fucking bitch bringin the fear of karma when I in my sleep.
What done is done...and its over. Ppl made mistakes and ppl will turn over a new leaf but a stupid mistakes made before bring myself questioning my own levelheadness, my sanity, my rationalism, my conscientiousness,at tat moment I chose to step into that road with lots of wacky,insane,ridiculous and unrealistic drive of road. Every moment I thought back of it jz makes me feel queasy and filthy in mind and soul. Its not tat ezy to forget a deed which is done with stupidity but however thr is no turning point I can make but live from it though it pains me to face it. I was not hurt because of the vulgarish act but the act of choosing a path tat was so clearly stated its a hell road still I choose to fall in that hideous,filthy,impure,immoral road. And it really turns on my affliction was my foolishness of affecting or almost letting go of my studies which is a road with reality and saneness.
It hurts to fall hard from a stairs and it hurts that I have to always remind myself about that done mistakes to keep my mind to be vigilant of my deed so that I would not have another fall because of my sillyness and stupidity. Ya, sometimes when someone or friends mentioned or talked about that issue I feel a flow of sluggish act I was once doin it.I should be more prudent and sensible yet I was so ignorant and irresponsible at that moment. I hate myself (I never have d guts to admit this) yesh,I hate myself for my deeds. I hate it and I wanted so much to turn back the time. But no, I have to accept it and I have to clinch it no matter what. There is no point of clenching on a mistake and make my life miserable. I can stand up and I do show that I have stand up quite steadily at least though sometimes I feel puny emotionally when I am all by myself.
Oh well,its SO DAMN OVER AND MOVE ON....:))
What done is done...and its over. Ppl made mistakes and ppl will turn over a new leaf but a stupid mistakes made before bring myself questioning my own levelheadness, my sanity, my rationalism, my conscientiousness,at tat moment I chose to step into that road with lots of wacky,insane,ridiculous and unrealistic drive of road. Every moment I thought back of it jz makes me feel queasy and filthy in mind and soul. Its not tat ezy to forget a deed which is done with stupidity but however thr is no turning point I can make but live from it though it pains me to face it. I was not hurt because of the vulgarish act but the act of choosing a path tat was so clearly stated its a hell road still I choose to fall in that hideous,filthy,impure,immoral road. And it really turns on my affliction was my foolishness of affecting or almost letting go of my studies which is a road with reality and saneness.
It hurts to fall hard from a stairs and it hurts that I have to always remind myself about that done mistakes to keep my mind to be vigilant of my deed so that I would not have another fall because of my sillyness and stupidity. Ya, sometimes when someone or friends mentioned or talked about that issue I feel a flow of sluggish act I was once doin it.I should be more prudent and sensible yet I was so ignorant and irresponsible at that moment. I hate myself (I never have d guts to admit this) yesh,I hate myself for my deeds. I hate it and I wanted so much to turn back the time. But no, I have to accept it and I have to clinch it no matter what. There is no point of clenching on a mistake and make my life miserable. I can stand up and I do show that I have stand up quite steadily at least though sometimes I feel puny emotionally when I am all by myself.
Oh well,its SO DAMN OVER AND MOVE ON....:))
A worry of how to go through this mistakes,failure and comparations of ur deed by others...and this is why I blog about feelings,comparations,worries,mistakes and failure. a thought of all those i was goin tru step by step and I m overcoming it...
P.S: DUde u can go tru it! wakakakaka! I dun like to grumbles on my sadness,pain or watever emo issues in front of u guys cos its all my filthy faults seek by me MYSELF so I got none to blame but myself and I feel self-disgusted about it..
3 comments:
Man you can get thru this, k? U thk ur life's fucked-up becos of ur mistake?
Have you taken a god look at MY life lately?
I'm working in the same company with a girl to torn my heart into a million pieces, a girl who I desperately am trying to forget but every time I see her, I come crushing down and spiral towards depression.
At the same time, I've got a crush on a girl who does not and will never reciprocate my feeling becos she's a lesbian.
Ok, I'm kidding bout the lesbian part. But still, I'm not her type. I know it. So why bother to go for it and hurt myself and my frenshp with her?
IS IT EVEN FUCKING POSSIBLE TO HAVE TWO WOMEN DRIVE YOU CRAZY AT THE SAME TIME?!
Goddammit!!!
And I'm even fucking married. I always tot that the day will only come when a man is driven nuts by two women at the same time: his wife and his mother-in-law. Lol!
Guess forced-responsibility minus the maturity hit me hard and early. Hahaha!
Dude, fuck ur mistakes, k?
At least you LEARN from them and at least you regret them.
Don't me like me or some of the other ppl I knw, who continue to make the same fucking mistakes over and over agn. Make this ur first and last.
xHUGSx
Now I can see why you have blogged all those entries. Very good indeed! You have admitted your faults,learning from your mistakes and face the fact that you have hit your face hard at the wall. And now you are standing up strongly? Good if it is so. Though you did not blog about the true stories behind those stupidity mistakes, worries and failure you are going on with but I do have a clear head of what has happen before. Stand strong and admitting the wrong doings needs a very strong guts to go along with. I like girls with steady and strong inner strength. Young one, keep it this way because you are staying strong in mind and not physical which we social beings need to have that qualities to live on...
stupidity
who doesnt??
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