Not sorry anymore

It’s dangerous and it can be seen deadly. Do not want to be caught at that moment anymore because the it may fall deeper and lose control if it is involved with feeling. Why not make a shift of the things? It will be better, right? We are allowed to shift anything around. But How much shift to be made ?– I am reminded not to break through the barriers because I may not have the second chance to be shift it back in a normal mode again. If the barriers are break through, the state of mind will run wildly without rationale thoughts. I am scared by it because it’s not in a state of divine at all. So do not take me in again because I may fall again and there is no surety I am able to be stand up by myself again. It may get worse and worse. I want it to be frozen to this point and let that point to be flush away from the mind.

An apologies to be made is not necessary anymore. From begin I am the one to be blame of all so the wrong is me BUT I am sorry to myself. Say that I am selfish and who are not selfish. I know it has been too long since I have not caught them up on my life but I am trying to heal myself so do not blame me. I have too much to think and have too much to cure. Not only curing myself but also someone close to me. I am always in a state of busy mind.

Talking about selfish. I have always wanted to be selfish. From young I am never selfish, I have always share mine with others and I am always willing to let my pair of hands to help someone but in the end I got nothing back. People always think they have sacrifice a lot but sometimes to think back we all in the world has equal sacrifices. I have always thought I had sacrifice more than anyone besides me but it’s ok no matter how much already because at least I have being selfish for once at that moment to avoid of get caught at that moment.

So why not let me be selfish for once? Let me to be out of the moment. My heart can be melt easily so do not talk those cock with me. I do not want to hear anymore. It’s non of my fucking business anymore! Do not use others to tell me those fucking shit. I do not want to ask but why keep on letting me know! I hate receiving those messages. So fuck off from my life! Gosh just let me be the devil for once and I will not feel any sorry for it. Think that I have a heart of stone or whatever! So now I am going to say it’s not MY FUCKING FAULT!