Again n again...it jz goes onnnnnn

Hmm...a few day away from tis bloggy. Living in a state of pain in d heart tis few days becos of war wit me mum started again. So stupidly started it becos of others ppl stuff. Its all a lame thg to think back n the thought wat mum have said to me really send a spear pierce into my heart. But however I have told myself tats it, no matter how u be o wat u do its still d same. Guess we both have personality clashes all the time n thr is no cure, so silence is d best medicine for both of us. So tired of all tis drama drama o emo emo thg wit her, feel so grey about it as well but still i have to live on with life day by day in which makes me most unbreatheable is i have to face her with tis live on life. Feel so hectic, lots of dissapointment n lots of anger inside. I jz wanna break down n cry out loud but no no I cant cos it shud be normal for me oledi. Sigh! I cant keeep on grumbling to my frens wat i m goin tru, I cant keep on complaining bout me n mum affair to Ed cos its not a fresh o new thg anymore n i shud have been numb for all tis me n mum conflict. I m too till the way of speechless towards tis fighting all d time. None of us have wrong o right. All I can do is open an eye n close an eye n oso I have to swallow d whole grief and anger inside my stomach n keep thr till it rots inside me. I tried it hard tis few days but it makes me worse, it makes me so wanna cry d hell ouutttaa my lungs. I cant i cant! No i cant get back thrrr again...She is like tat! I have to take it tis way dy. I feel so depressed n i m so fear i will get into depression again. I need to be bz so I wont think bout ittttt..urghhh! Help me damn ittttt....