How we communicate can lead to conflict!?

Another post bout thoughts in relationships. Well, its just a thought of it as I myself sometimes is a problematic person when handling lovey stuff. Recently I have a fren who have broken relationship n a fren who is having some conflict in their relationship. I myself have been in a coming to 5 yrs relationship wit Edmund. To summarize bout me n him is our 1st 2 yrs r shitty as we almost quarrel everyday n tis mite becos of not understanding each other n communication break down as well. But recently we both r so far so good. We both have give each other spaces to breathe n oso we tend to understand each other but for future planning our boat is still buoyant in d midst of the sea "buoyant kin". Hehe! Mayb cos of 1 thg which we both knw n tat is confidential I guess. Keke! So we will handle it soon. As I would like to say bout conflict n communication prob - I would like to tell a dear friend of mine n of cos a reminder for myself too...

Dear Fren,
Poor communication can weaken bonds, occurs mistrust n even contempt. So here I will like to list a few thgs all of us tend to happen when we r in a relationship in which will destruct our relationship.

a) Avoiding Clash altogether
Instead of discussing building frustrations in a calm situation some of us just don wan to say anythg to their partner until all those frust r accumulate inside him/her lead them to explode then blurt it out all in an angry n oso hurtful way. This is because tat partner was trying to avoid arguments but who knws it usually causes more stresses for both parties, as emotion strains n eventually lead to a much bigger arguments.
b)Attempting to defend
When a partner complains, most of d time we r never willing to understand the opponent point of view. If we r defensive person we tend to defence watever they r tryin to say n tis could lead them to a road of stress which our partner feel tat they arent listened to. So unresolved conflicts continue to grow.
c)Over-reasononing from details/fact
When sth happens that they dont like o disagree, some of us will jz make sweeping generalizations like starting sentences with , "You always.." or "You never.." n oso bringing up pasts arguments to throw the discussion off-topic n stir more negativity between each other.
d)Always being right/correct!
Its damaging to decide the way u're seeing things is always right and DO NOT demand that ur partner see things the same way as urs (I owes do this lah but c wat kind of talkin skill u have to control d conflict) n oso dun take it as a personal attack if they disagree wit u. So, sometimes I learn to think tat 2 points of view can be true cos there is not always a right or a wrong.
e)Mind-Reading/Think tat u really understand him or her
Instead of asking ur bf/gf thoughts n feelings we sometimes decide o conclude that we knw wat they r thinkin o feeling based on their actions or too much of understanding each other?!Tis mostly can lead to negative thoughts to the mind-reader. But ppl do really have their own thoughts which we will never knw so do not being "ke-po" sayin u knw wat he/she is thinking lah! cos this can creates hostility n misunderstanding lah.
f)Forget to listen/Unwilling to listen
Some of us jz like to interupt o rehearse what they gonna say d next thgs o even roll their eyes while our partner r talking instead us really make an effort to truly listen n attempt to understand them. This can keep u from seeing their points n keeps ur partners wanting to see urs. So dun underestimate the importance of listening k!
g)Blaming each other
Most of us like to handle arguments by criticizing n blaming each other for the problems. Some of us can even shame them for being "at fault" instead of trying to see their problems as a chance to analyze the situation objectively n come up wit a solution to help both parties.
h)Wannabe Winner in an Argument
Thr is a saying winner is always the loser as whenever he/she wins it all but they will lose the most precious thg in d end. The point of a relationship discussion should be mutual understanding and coming to an agreement or resolution that respects everyone’s needs. If you’re making a case for how wrong the other person is, discounting their feelings, and staying stuck in your point of view, your focused in the wrong direction!
i)Pointing his/her character or attitude bad
Some of us like to take our partners negative action n explode it up into a personal flaw like saying our spouse being inconsiderate or lazy or if he/she likes to throw stuff around d house. This can create bad perceptions so learn to respect the person even if we dont like their character.
j)Avoiding issues
When one wanna share o discuss some issue between their relationship but other not willing to discuss this shows disrespect n in certain situations can lead to d underlying conflict to grow in which creates hard feeling and damages relationship so its much better to listen n discuss thgs in a respectful manner.

I have all this badddddddd manners whenever I have prob wit Ed but however I can never c it until when thr is ppl beside u attempting d same kind of attitude like this then will reflect urself bout how bad we r. Oh well, how i can survive my relationship is most probably becos oftolerance from d other party. So being tolerating is important.